Everyone has heard of child abuse. Approximately three million cases are reported each year. But what exactly is “child abuse?”
A general definition of child abuse includes any acts that are done deliberately or intentionally to a child by its parent or other person who is legally responsible for the child’s care that causes physical, mental, or emotional damage. If the caretaker doesn’t actually inflict the abuse, but allows it to happen, they can also be charged with abuse. (Much of the information in this section has been obtained throughout over 20 years of teaching, inservice trainings, and working closely with the Tennessee Department of Human Services personnel. Therefore, it has been difficult to reference much of the following material.)
There are four main categories that will be explored. A brief description of each category follows:
Unfortunately most child abusers are family members, neighbors, or friends of the family; someone the child usually trusts. There are always stories in the news concerning abuse from teachers, coaches, ministers, etc. It could be anyone. Recent studies have shown that up to 95% of child abusers were also abused as children. This vicious circle of abuse must be stopped.
Children who are abused once are much more likely to be abused again. In some cases abuse (especially emotional) has become a way of life for the child. It is considered normal. One year I taught a unit on child abuse in one of my health classes. After numerous discussions concerning the definition of physical abuse, and the difference between being punished and being abused, I had the students write an essay about their opinions concerning child abuse and what they had learned in our class. The results astonished and upset me. Roughly one-third of the students still felt that if a child was beaten as a punishment they probably “deserved it.” NO! No child ever deserves to be beaten.
The effects of child abuse are not isolated. In other words they don’t go away once the abuse stops. They may linger for a lifetime if steps are not taken to help the child heal. Long-term effects of child abuse include:
Obviously there are different degrees of abuse and some children cope better than others. Therefore, not every abused child will develop severe problems. But any form of child abuse will hamper the child’s emotional growth, sense of safety, and keep the child from reaching their full potential.
Most child abuse tends to occur behind closed doors (although I have witnessed some astonishingly public forms of abuse in shopping centers). Therefore we must be alert to obvious signs that some type of problem has occurred. There are many signs of child abuse. Specific signs relating to each of the four major categories are listed in the related chapters. Nonspecific signs of abuse (to be used for general reference only) are as follows:
The best way to prevent your child from ever becoming a victim of child abuse is to begin educating them early. You may wish to reread the chapter on self-esteem because studies show that children with high levels of self-esteem are rarely abused. There may be several reasons for this. Children who value themselves understand intuitively that they do not deserve such treatment and will usually tell someone the first time it occurs, which lessens the odds of them becoming perpetual victims. Adults who tend to abuse children pick those with lower self-esteem. They are easier to manipulate and less likely to tell. Children with high self-esteem also tend to have parents with higher levels of self-esteem who are much less likely to be child abusers themselves.
Talk to your child about the dangers of child abuse. Explain what verbal abuse, name-calling, physical abuse and sexual abuse are. Teach them which parts of their body
are private and should not be touched by anyone. Let them know that they can and should tell you about any behaviors they are not comfortable with. Explain that you will help them decide if they have been violated or not. Abusers frequently threaten to harm the child or even other family members if the child tells. Make sure your child understands that this is a scare tactic used to keep them from telling. Then most importantly believe them when they tell you!
There are many signs that an adult may be a child abuser. Some are obvious such as uncontrollable anger, but many are more passive and unassuming. Please familiarize yourself with the following list:
There may be other clues for which to watch. When a parent avoids meeting with teachers, fails to keep appointments or even answer notes sent home there is obviously a problem. Many abusive families do not socialize much and tend to be fairly isolated. Their home life may be very disorganized and the child has trouble getting papers signed, etc. There may be a history of chronic illness or drug and/or alcohol abuse. Any of these conditions set the scene for abuse to occur, but do not by themselves prove abuse is occurring. They are simply warning symptoms. When an adult exhibits several of these characteristics and their children also show signs of abuse, this family may be in need of serious help.
Most adults are capable of child abuse under extreme stress, especially emotional abuse. (Who hasn’t yelled at their child at least once?) But children are resilient and can bounce back from an occasional bad day. But true abuse is an ongoing, even daily thing for abused children. Family crises are prime times for abuse to occur. Unemployment, death, divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse and mental illness all set the stage for any of all of the four types of child abuse to occur.
If your child has been abused by someone, or you even suspect abuse has occurred, do something. Don’t remain silent and hope you are wrong. When a child is not protected and is repeatedly abused it damages the child in very deep ways. These feelings are stuffed down (because no one will listen). They will one day erupt and may create more violence and abuse, perhaps toward their own children. This is the way the cycle continues.
If you believe another child may be suffering from any form of abuse, please report it. Call your local Department of Human Services, look under Child Abuse in the Yellow Pages, or call the police. Many people don’t report suspected abuse because they don’t want to get involved, or are afraid to, or think the child may be removed from the home.
Child care services only removes a child from its home when there is no other recourse or if the child is in immediate danger. Personnel are trained to identify child abuse and to locate the reasons for the occurrence. Counseling services are often provided along with parenting classes, etc. in an effort to help the parents become better able to care for their child.
In some states a person is protected by law when they report child abuse. The person does not have to give their name and the claim will still be investigated. But it is best to give your name, if possible, in case they need further information. Referrals need to be made by the person who witnessed the abuse. Gossip or rumor doesn’t carry any weight. Teachers, all school personnel, including bus drivers are required by law to report suspected abuse. Police, doctors, and other medical personnel are also required to report abuse. But technically every citizen is legally required to report suspected child abuse. To fail to do so is a violation of the law. The report can be made by telephone, in person, or in writing. Please don’t hesitate to act. A child’s life may depend on you.
Stories about students and their problems written by teachers.
Click here to read essays on child abuse written by children